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Mindful Parenting - Body based strategies

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Mindful Parenting - Body based strategies 


“The more we hone this ability to meet life in a neutral state, without attributing “goodness” or “badness” to what we are encountering, but simply accepting its as-is-ness, the less our need to interpret every dynamic as if it were about us. Our children can then have their tantrums without triggering us, and we can correct their behavior without dumping on them our own residual resentment, guilt, fear, or distrust.” ― Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children


Many of us set intentions as we start a new year, and for parents, sometimes those intentions center around family life.   Maybe we vow to yell less, limit screen time for everyone, add more vegetables to dinner, or be more present for our children.  In recent years, psychologists and parent coaches are bringing the research around mindfulness to the parenting realm.   It turns out, being a mindful parent can help us meet intentions and stay calm while doing it.

  

The goal of any mindfulness technique is to achieve a state of alert, focused relaxation. That’s accomplished by deliberately paying attention to emotions, thoughts, and sensations (free of judgment) to enable the mind to refocus on the present moment. 

As Shefali Tsabary says in the above quote, accepting the "as-is-ness" of a given parenting moment is key to staying regulated even when triggered by our child's behavior, and then responding true to our values and intentions. 


So how do we practice mindfulness in parenting?  Following are some tested body-based, nervous-system strategies for regulating and staying in control: 

  • Movement - rocking, swaying, tapping, squeezing, and physical touch, as well as exercise (running, yoga, dancing- it all counts!)

  • Breathwork - Square breathing (inhale, pause, exhale pause) longer exhale than inhale (inhale for 4, exhale for 6); Lengthen the exhale (inhale for 4, exhale for 8)

  • Vagus Nerve exercises - cold water on neck or wrists, singing  or humming, gentle neck stretches 

Of course, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, probiotics - whatever gives you energy can also be a body-based strategy.  


Ask yourself: 

  1. What body based strategies bring a sense of calm to my body and brain when faced with a behavior I find challenging?  

  2. How can I create a calmer “baseline,” so that I can maintain regulation in the challenging moments? 


Curious to explore these strategies and more with a parent coach? contact us at Thriving Parents Collective




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